20 September 2011
Should a husband and wife who are competent and confident regarding their end of life decisions be obstructed for choosing to die? Recently, The New York Times discussed a couple’s plan for death in an article entitled “Deciding to Die, Then Shown the Door.” The article highlighted an elderly couple who had implemented a plan for their death after discussing the various options for over a decade.
This was not a decision that the couple, Armond and Dorothy Rudolph, took lightly. Neither of the Rudolphs looked forward to the possibility of a slow and possibly painful decline in which they could end up in a nursing home. They were both very clear that they did not want to lose their independence or become a burden to their family.
In an effort to become educated as to what their end of life options were, the Rudolphs joined an organization that supports the right to end life when illness or pain becomes overwhelming. They attended meetings held by the organization, and gave their children literature on the subject. The Rudolphs also drafted advanced directives detailing their wishes.
While the couple remained in good health for many years, and were very active, their health deteriorated as they aged. Once into their nineties, Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph were moved into an assisted living facility. After a few months, they decided to stop eating and drinking. There was no question regarding their capacity to make this decision. However, when the facility became aware of the Rudolphs’ decision not to eat or drink, they tried to evict the couple. The Rudolphs’ son protested that they had nowhere to go, and their contract with the facility required a thirty day notice prior to discharge. The administrators of the facility then called 911 to report a suicide attempt to try and have the Rudolphs taken to a hospital.
A doctor was called in to consult with the emergency crews as to how they should handle the V.S.E.D. (voluntarily stopping eating and drinking). The doctor spoke with everyone involved, including bedside discussions with the Rudolphs. Both Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph were able to express what they desired for their end of life wishes, and that they did not want to go to the hospital. Their son emphasized that these were decisions that had previously been discussed among the family, and that the Rudolphs were sure in the decision. The doctor was reassured that the Rudolphs were aware of the decision they were making, and determined that neither his nor the emergency services would be needed.
The Rudolphs' children worried about further conflict in their parents remaining days, so they rented a house to move into with their parents. They had daily hospice visits and an exhausting around the clock vigil, but they felt satisfied that they had fulfilled their parents’ wishes. Neil Rudolph, the couple’s son, said his parents “did find the dignified and peaceful death they both sought, but it’s also a cautionary tale.” Because this issue is so charged, it is critical that individuals think of every conceivable angle to make sure their wishes are carried out. The Rudolphs had the proper legal documents along with a supportive family. Even so, their wishes were not respected. If you are going to move out of your home into an assisted living or nursing home you may want to discuss with the facility whether they will honor your end of life decisions.
You can read the full article here: "Deciding to Die, Then Shown the Door"
